Attack of the Killer Monkeys

Day two in Ko Phi Phi.

Backround information: Kor, Linds and I head over to the main beach early in the morning to rent some kayaks and go check out "monkey bay," a famous beach spot where "wild" monkeys roam and you can feed them bananas. Our first stop was at a fruit stand where a woman gave us a bag full of old rotten bananas and assorted fruit and veggies for 10 baht to take the the monkeys.

Part I: We set out in kayaks for Monkey Bay. Kor and I paddled while Linds acted as the coxen guiding us through the somewhat rough waters. We made it around the corner to see a medium sized beach with maybe 3-4 people on it and no large boats in sight. This must be the right place. We park our Kayak on the shore and set out looking for monkeys.

Part II: We deboard our kayak and start looking for monkeys. At first we don't see any. All of a sudden they start to emerge from the rocks and jungle plants onto the beach. They look pretty cute. There are baby ones, females and some larger males. They start to approach us and Lindsay is holding the bag of bananas and not suspicious of her surroundings.

Part III: The monkeys really start to notice us and approach slowly but with intention. The bigger ones has large fists and serious eyes. They eye Lindsay and then eye the bananas and approach faster and begin to hiss. Lindsay screams and drops the bananas. The only thing to do in a situation like this. The monkeys retreat with the bag of bananas and begin to check them out and feast bit by bit.

Part IV: A beach goer lets us know that the monkeys won't get you if you stay near the water. Lindsay and I head his advice but kor thinks his Thai-ness earns him immunity. He is so wrong. He approaches the monkeys again and they begin to surround him and hiss at him. Pretty soon he has maybe 5 or 6 monkeys around him and one grabs at his leg, ready to bite. Lindsay and I scream and Kor ges away just before inflicting himself with some sort of terrible monkey rabies flu.

Part V: We get out the camera and try to video the monkeys. They are still displeased and begin to charge at us again. Kor barely makes it out alive (again) and the monkeys grab the bananas, start to eat and give us a look like "ha ha, dumb tourists."

Part VI: We take a break from the monkey death match and swim out to a big tourist boat that has just arrived. We crash their party and start doing cannonballs and dives off the very top deck. All of the tourists (Koreans) are wearing life jackets and can't figure out how these nutso Americans (and one Thai man) have gotten onto their boat.

Part VII: We head back to the beach where one of the bigger monkeys has stolen a beer can from one of the kayakers and is chugging it. We wonder how many beers he gets in a day. We get back in our kayak and decide that monkeys are terrifying and ruthless and we never want to feed them again.

Part VIII: I have a nightmare about monkeys the next night. It is still vivid.